The demise of the boob guy: how plastic surgery is making this creature extinct.

I've decided to also post things on this blog that I'm too embarrassed to display on my main blog. So I can't promise that anyone reading this entry will find it particularly "deep."

The other day a friend on gchat had a status message that said "guys don't even like boobs anymore." (This female friend happens to have large breasts.) At first I thought in disbelief: "Yeah, right!" But then I got to thinking, and thus was born my new boob theory.

This theory is based on simple principles of economics: supply and demand. (I've never taken an economics class, but my best friend in college was an econ major so I heard enough about it.) As the supply of any product increases, the demand decreases. The reason: everyone ends up getting one. So how do I relate this to boobs? Well, with the increasing availability and affordability of plastic surgery (breast enlargement, in particular), the "supply" of big boobs has increased dramatically. This is especially noticeable in certain areas of Orange County, where I live. Now, as the supply increases, wouldn't the principle of "supply & demand" predict a simultaneous decrease in the "demand" for big boobs?

These days, all that stands in the way between a girl and big/perfect boobs is a few thousand bucks. You can even finance these things--so they're more affordable than ever. This means that more and more women are getting them. Thus, there is an actual increase in supply. However, there may be an even more pronounced, hidden, effect to this supply in that men know all of this about boob jobs. We know they're affordable. Many men are more than willing to flat out buy their girlfriends/wives boob jobs. So even if the actual supply hasn't increased that much (I haven't looked at any data), the perceived supply might be much greater in that the procedure is so widely available and increasingly affordable.

Let's bring this back to physical characteristics and what guys look at. In the past, guys have typically fallen into at least one of two categories: boob or butt guys. Some guys love boobs (my former roommate is one of them), other guys are more into butts (myself included), which normally refers to an overall nice physique, often accentuated by a woman's behind. Most girls assume that all guys are of the boob persuasion. This, of course, is untrue, but it may fuel many of the boob jobs going on all over the world each day.

Now let's assume, for purposes of argument, that all girls who wanted boob jobs actually got them. Suddenly, all women would have perfect boobs. If you equalize a female physical characteristic, a male's attention will automatically turn to other characteristics that differentiate and set those girls apart from each other. Some characteristics may be desirable, such as fit bodies or proportionally long legs. But no longer will a guy be looking at the girls' boobs--they're all equal, right? This is what happens when you get asked the question "All other things being equal, would you take X or Y?" In that hypothetical, you are assuming an equalization of all characteristics except for one. In other words, once those other variables have been equalized, they are essentially ignored. So if all girls suddenly had "perfect" boobs, then guys would automatically start ignoring them.

What would this then lead to? Well, to remain competitive in the beauty market, women would be forced to make other characteristics more desirable. (Male attention isn't the only incentive for being beautiful, incidentally.) Once you take boobs out of the picture, this leaves the rest of the body to work on. Viewing things optimistically, one might hope that it would encourage a new widespread surge in exercise and healthy eating. On the flip side, it may just drive many women back to the quick fixes of cosmetic surgeries designed to slim or enhance the figure in other areas. (However, such procedures may be more expensive, less permanent, and require more maintenance than a typical breast augmentation.)

Could increased popularity for breast enlargement ultimately lead to improvements in women's health? It might be a long shot. But I strongly believe that this increased popularity will inevitably lead to the extinction of the "boob guy." (This also assumes that most guys don't have a preference between real and fake boobs. That assumption may or may not be true--I don't know.) Don't get me wrong--guys will always like boobs. Even avowed "butt" guys like them (it's just not what they look at first). But if boob guys know that perfect boobs are just a few thousand dollars away, they will automatically focus on other physical and emotional attributes that differentiate women.

Your days are numbered, boob guy. I will miss you.

(Disclaimer: I express no opinion as to whether getting a breast augmentation is a good or bad idea. That is up to the women. All I will say is that while I am a "butt" guy, I still love boobs.)