A thought occurred to me, which strikes me as a different way of stating the importance of shared values:

The best relationships are between two people who respectively value most highly the things which they naturally do well or the qualities that they most reliably emulate.

Not that I'm an expert or anything; relationships are not my strong suit.

But this seems like an efficient relationship. It would entail the least amount of change and compromise. While we shouldn't resist change where it constitutes improvement, the idea of changing simply to become more compatible with someone else strikes me as inefficient, among other things.

Fiscally Conservative Solution to Homelessness

Consider the following hypothetical:

One night, a homeless man breaks into your home. He does not harm anyone but the event is very disturbing for you and your family. The man is not mentally well.

You have two choices:

1. Have the man arrested and sent to jail. He may spend some time there, but will eventually be back on the street. This will cost you $97. There is a 2% chance you will have some run-in with this man in the future.
2. Have the man taken to a cheap, but secure and clean apartment where he will have a meal and a place to sleep. He will stay there. This will cost you $35. There is a 1% chance you will have some run-in with this man in the future.

Which do you choose?

It would cost $20B to end homelessness. That's $132/year from each adult American who is in middle class or greater. Per that article, apparently it's much cheaper to provide permanent supportive housing per homeless person per year than pay for all the other costs the homeless cause a society to incur. ($12,800 v. $35,578; I used those numbers to calculate the hypothetical amounts: these numbers divided by 365.) The housing would not be extravagant. Something very simple yet comfortable and secure.

Fifty-nine percent of U.S. adults are in the middle to upper class. That's 152,397,000 people who can probably afford to pay $132. Would you pay that amount each year to not see any more homeless camps, or any of the other inconveniences and crime that come from homelessness? 

I would.

Whom the narcissist needs

 My mom thinks my dad is a narcissist (they're divorced), and I can see that I take after my dad in many ways...so, here goes...

I think the type of significant other a narcissist needs is someone who highly values the things that the narcissist does well or comes naturally to them. This is because the narcissist, above all, wants to be wanted. 

The maximum want you can get from someone is a function of how much they value you. 

You are a collection of traits, skills, talents, knowledge, personalities, etc.

I assume narcissists wish to reach the stage of maximal "wantedness" by the path of least resistance. There's an inherent efficiency to being wanted for how you naturally are--this requires the least amount of deviation from equilibria. 

I suppose this applies generally to everyone. But I think it has particular application to narcissists. Not that it'd work in every case, of course, but I think on average narcissists would have better relationships if they sought out partners with this in mind. They will most value the person who values them most.

Am I completely out in left field on this one?